


The Good Side

by MJLightwood



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Actor Oh Sehun, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, Model Kim Jongin | Kai, Model Oh Sehun, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23243587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MJLightwood/pseuds/MJLightwood
Summary: In which, Oh Sehun is one of Korea’s best rising actors and well-loved models. His ex-fiancé happens to be Kim Jongin, Korea’s treasured choreographer, dancer and heart-robbing new and upcoming model.And maybe fate doesn’t want them to be apart anymore.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 7
Kudos: 71





	The Good Side

**Author's Note:**

> I got the good side of things  
> Left you with both of the rings  
> My fingers danced and swayed in the breeze  
> The change in the wind took you down to your knees  
> -"The Good Side" by Troye Sivan

Oh Sehun knows that he looks like death when he gets off his flight in Paris. Probably not a good thing, seeing as he’s supposed to be as attractive as possible for Fashion Week, but Sehun can’t really help it. It was a long flight, one that gave him too much time to think about his ex-fiancé, who was also conveniently attending Fashion Week. 

In all honesty, Sehun knew that their paths were bound to cross. He is one of Korea’s best rising actors and well-loved models. His ex-fiancé happens to be Kim Jongin, Korea’s treasured choreographer, dancer and heart-robbing new and upcoming model. 

Deep down Sehun knew that all the acting skills in the world could not hide the pain he’d felt when he saw Jongin at Incheon airport. Jongin looked stunning, as usual. Gifting his fans with his warm smiles when necessary and posing confidently for cameras with an aura most models dreamt of having. Anyone would’ve said Sehun was a fool for giving him up, and many people did. 

Some days, even Sehun felt like a fool. But he knew it was for the best. As he saw articles of Jongin’s new job opportunities and endorsements, he knew it was for the best. They were better without each other, Jongin had picked himself up. 

Then why did the emptiness of Sehun’s ring finger seem to itch at the most random moments? Why did his heart lurch in his chest when he saw Jongin at the airport? If he was really over Jongin, why was it so much effort for him to keep his eyes away from his gorgeous ex-fiancé?

Sehun took a deep breath, walking with purpose out of Orly Airport and into his vehicle with tinted glass windows as paparazzi camera flashes went off around him.

They were better without each other. Sehun was sure of it. 

-

_ “Sehun! You’re back!” Jongin had greeted him as soon as he walked into their shared apartment. Sehun felt familiar arms wrap around his body, and oh how he wanted to let himself fall into those arms, to let go of all his stress and just melt. Instead, he pushed them away. _

_ Jongin was puzzled. He knew their relationship wasn’t the most peaceful or even remotely smooth-sailing lately, but Sehun would never reject a hug from him, especially when he looked this tired.  _

_ “Jongin… I have to tell you something, alright?”  _

_ Never a good sign. Sehun wasn’t calling him Nini, or Jongin-ah. Not even darling, or baby.  _

_ Jongin’s heartbeat quickened in fear. But nothing could’ve prepared him for what Sehun had said next. He had never dreamed that Sehun would ever do what he did next.  _

_ “I’m breaking it off. The engagement. It’s for the best.”  _

_ Jongin was stunned, his fingers absentmindedly starting to twist the engagement ring on his finger. Sehun reached forward to take Jongin’s hands in his own, Jongin found that he was too shocked to fight back, to say anything or to do anything.  _

_ He didn’t stop Sehun from slipping a ring into his palm, closing it into a fist. His mind registered it as Sehun’s engagement ring. He was returning it to Jongin.  _

_ Sehun was stoic, no tears, his voice was strong, his movements firm. Jongin was trembling, he felt as though his world was crashing down on him.  _

_ “Sehun… Breaking off…? What do you mean? Sehun… please…” Jongin stuttered, unable to form coherent sentences.  _

_ Sehun looked at him with something akin to pity. “It’s for the best, Jongin, for our careers, I’ll let you process this for now.” _

_ Jongin stared at the ring on his now open palm, the very ring Sehun had used to propose to him. Sehun, the love of his life, his partner, his other half, the one he couldn’t live without.  _

_ His  _ fiancé,  _ the one he was supposed to marry, his  _ forever. 

_ He was so happy that Sehun had proposed to him first, it was beyond his expectations. Sehun was more reserved, more afraid of commitment. It was a pleasant surprise when Sehun got on one knee and presented him with a ring. The very ring that was getting heavier and heavier by the minute on his ring finger.  _

_ “Oh Sehun! You can’t just do this!” Jongin screamed, his voice coming out in broken sobs. But Sehun remained expressionless.  _

_ “Stop it! Stop acting for once! Stop hiding all your feelings! You’re not a machine! Oh Sehun, you can’t just leave like this!”  _

_ “I’ll give you time, Jongin.”  _

_ How could he not feel anything? How was he not breaking the way Jongin was?  _

_ “Do I mean nothing to you? Oh Sehun, did you even love me?” Jongin's voice slowly began to reduce to whispers.  _

_ Sehun shoots him one last sorry look before he opens the door and leaves their shared apartment. An answer Jongin wishes he never got.  _

_ Jongin collapses onto the floor, the ring falling out of his grasp with a clink, much like his reality. This couldn’t be real. This simply couldn’t be real.  _

_ A sob breaks out of Sehun when the door closes behind him. What had he done? _

-

Jongin wakes up to the warm sharpness of Paris sunlight on his skin. Slowly he turns around and realizes there’s arms wrapped around him. 

He hasn’t woken up like this in almost two years.

He also realizes that those arms belong to a body, a very warm and naked body. Jongin groans internally. He knew he got drunk, he knew his ex-fiancé was present so he desperately needed the alcohol. But bringing people home was the last thing his broken and barely mending heart needed.

He’s shocked when the body suddenly moves. Arms moving to cage him in between them as the mystery man props himself up on top of Jongin.

And the mystery man is no longer a mystery, for it is none other than his ex-fiancé. 

_ Crack _ , goes Jongin’s heart.

He is greeted with Sehun’s handsome sleepy face, the same face that used to greet him every morning. He takes in Sehun’s half-lidded eyes and flushed cheeks. His eyes glance past Sehun’s cherry red bitten and swollen lips and he feels like throwing up. 

He’s taken by surprise when those lips close against his own passionately. Sehun kisses him like it’s the last chance he has to do so. And Jongin is too stunned to kiss back. What was happening?

“You normally kiss back in my dreams,” comes Sehun’s raspy morning voice, making Jongin feel things that he doesn’t want to feel, feelings he’s been trying to push down ever since that night when Sehun left him. 

Sehun places a chaste kiss on his lips this time. Jongin still does not respond. He’s too exhausted to push Sehun off, too heartbroken to do anything but watch and submit as Sehun messed with him, fucked him over once again. 

They fucked last night anyway, didn’t they?

Jongin was too hopeful when he thought that he could heal his stupid heart, when clearly it had always belonged to Sehun. 

“Smile for me,” Sehun pleads, something vulnerable in his voice. 

“You always smile in my dreams, my Jongin,” Sehun says, thumb stroking over the corner of Jongin’s plump lip. 

_ My Jongin.  _

Dreams? Jongin has a sudden sinking feeling of realization. Sehun thinks he’s dreaming. 

“This isn’t a dream, Sehun,” Jongin says carefully, willing his voice to be strong even though Sehun probably can’t tell the difference. 

“No,” Sehun says, eyes widening by a fraction. He leans forward to place two more kisses on Jongin’s nose and lips. A small part of Jongin clings onto those kisses, knowing that once Sehun comes to his senses, he’ll never get these kisses ever again. 

“No, don’t wake me up,” Sehun pleads as he plants more frantic kisses on Jongin’s face and neck, threading his fingers through Jongin’s hair. “Don’t wake me up just yet, please.” 

Sehun’s eyes are squeezed shut in a frantic attempt to hold onto what Sehun believes is a dream. A dream he knows he does not deserve. 

“Sehun…” 

“I’m sorry, Jongin, I’m so so sorry,” Sehun repeats over and over like a mantra. 

Suddenly the sound of a phone ringing cuts through, the effect is like cold water thrown on Sehun’s face as his eyes widen and he pushes himself off Jongin to answer his phone. 

Jongin would be lying if he said his heart didn’t sink a little when Sehun left, taking his warmth with him. 

“I’m okay, I’m sorry, hyung,” he hears Sehun say over the phone, probably his manager. “I will be back, thirty minutes.”

When Sehun hangs up, he turns around to face Jongin once again, expression channeled into something unreadable. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Sehun announces before he gets up. 

Jongin watches his ex-fiancé bolt to the bathroom with his blurry vision. He lies in his bed for what seems like forever. He feels as though he has lost all sense of time as thoughts about Sehun started to bombard his barely awake mind. 

His unrecovered heart feels like it has shattered into even smaller pieces, and the smaller pieces are constantly stabbing at his chest, opening up new wounds. Jongin picks himself up and heads to the bathroom, his walk is anything but graceful, so clearly lacking the usual grace of a model. When he slides the bathroom door open, he’s greeted with the sight of Sehun, bent over the toilet bowl. He appears to be hurling the contents of his stomach into it. 

By instinct, Jongin kneels down behind him and rubs his back, the gentleness of the gesture all too familiar to the both of them. 

Sehun coughs when he’s finished vomiting, tears in his eyes. With a pang in his heart, Jongin realizes he’s never seen Sehun this vulnerable in years. Even before their breakup, Sehun was never the type to show his emotions to Jongin, while the latter wore his heart on his sleeve. 

“I’m sorry,” Sehun coughs out. “Just leave me. I’ll take care of myself.” With weak hands, Sehun tries to push Jongin away, far away, much like he did almost a two years ago. 

Jongin lets him. They’re nothing to each other now, he reminds himself. He takes in Sehun’s wrecked form, the tears streaming down his cheeks, the way he’s using the back of his hand to cover his mouth, the messed up hair. 

It has been more than a year, but Jongin’s heart still aches infinitely when he sees Sehun this hurt. He tries to remind himself that it was Sehun who called their engagement off, Sehun who left him in the cold of their apartment with both rings. He reminds himself to not let his hard built walls crumble in front of his man, because the last time he let him in, he was left alone and sobbing on the floor, begging to empty air for Sehun to come back to him. 

Jongin pries himself away from Sehun, tears welling up in his eyes. How can he still love him? After more than a year. How could he still love someone who hurt him this much like it was nothing?

But clearly it must’ve been something, they must’ve been worth something to Sehun if Sehun was crying now, albeit a year too late. 

“Sehun…” Jongin starts, his voice sounds horrible, coarse and scratchy. It sounds broken, and Jongin feels pathetic. How could he let Sehun hurt him over and over again? 

He forces himself to leave the bathroom, a miserable Sehun watching him go with eyes that have no more tears left to cry. 

_ Is this what he felt?  _ Sehun wonders. He never stayed to witness the aftermath of his decision. His mind had always been plagued with Jongin’s pleads ever since he left the apartment. His nightmares were always Jongin’s tears. Sehun had broken down after he called it off, in the privacy of his own car, something no one knew. 

Sehun tells himself to let it remain that way.  _ He’s so much better without you, don’t be selfish,  _ he tells himself. 

-

When Sehun is finally cleaned up and presentable, he exits the bathroom to find Jongin sitting cross legged on his hotel bed. 

Their eyes meet, it takes everything in Sehun not to look away. The sun bathes Jongin’s golden skin in its soft light, reminding Sehun of that magazine spread he saw of Jongin maybe a few months ago, in a moment of weakness when he had allowed himself to stare at his ex-fiancé.

Jongin breaks their eye contact to reach for a glass of water and a pill at the bedside table, offering it gingerly to Sehun. 

“You’ll feel better,” Jongin says, his soft voice barely above a whisper, a little unsure. Sehun thanks him, his own voice still sounds like shit. He downs the pill and the water and his head doesn’t immediately stop spinning, nor does his heart stop hurting. Sehun bitterly thinks that the pill is a scam. 

“I’m sorry,” Sehun says, Jongin bitterly thinks that he’s two years too late. 

_ I’m sorry for leaving you, I’m sorry for coming back into your life like this, I’m sorry for following you back to your room last night, I’m sorry for throwing up in your bathroom. I’m sorry for all this pain, for making you feel so worthless, for making you think you mean nothing to me. You mean everything to me, Jongin, and it’s too late for me to realize this now, but you are my everything, my precious Nini. I’m sorry, Jongin. I’m sorry,  _ Sehun thinks, but it is left unsaid. 

“It’s… alright,” Jongin replies halfheartedly. 

“I’ll leave now,” Sehun announces. The air between them is tense and awkward and heavy, filled with unsaid words and unresolved feelings and conflicts. Both of them feeling much too hungover to discuss any of it right now. 

Sehun doesn’t think twice, reaching for one of the phones on the bedside table and taking his leave. Jongin can only stay still, silently watching Sehun leave his life once again. 

Jongin doesn’t know what he wants anymore. He doesn’t know if he wants Sehun to come back, if he wants them to talk, or if he wants Sehun to go far far away and never return. Jongin doesn’t know what he wants anymore. 

He sinks back into the bed that smells way too much of Sehun and sex, and Jongin promptly falls asleep. 

-

Sehun leaves the hotel in the next ten minutes, luggage in tow and manager behind him. His plane is in a few hours and he can’t wait to return home where he can organize his thoughts once and for all. 

He pays no mind to the dead phone in his hand, doesn’t see the telltale scratches that suggests that it’s not his phone. Sehun was always the more careful one among him and Jongin, always scolding the latter for treating his phone carelessly. 

When Jongin wakes up and checks what he thinks is his phone, he finds an unfamiliar wallpaper staring back at him. He squints. In time he recognizes the beach where he and Sehun had gone for a holiday after their engagement. 

He gingerly picks up the phone, puzzled. He pulls up a bunch of notifications that are from a certain “Junmyeon Hyung”. Sehun’s manager? 

And then it hits him.

Sehun took the wrong phone.

-

When Sehun is finally back in his own apartment, he crashes onto his couch and fumbles around for his phone charger. The screen finally lights up after a few minutes of waiting, and he’s greeted with the sight of a dog he hasn’t seen in ages. 

“Monggu…?” Sehun’s more than confused. And then the notifications start flowing in, two missed calls from an unsaved number Sehun recognizes as his own. 

He honestly wants to kick himself. How could he be so careless? 

He manages to unlock the screen, Jongin has never put passwords on his phone, and frantically calls his own number. 

The phone is picked up after three rings. “Hello?” comes a voice Sehun hasn’t heard over the phone in more than a year. It makes his heart clench painfully. 

“Hey um… I think I took your phone by accident?” 

Sehun hears the faintest sound of Jongin’s breaths over the line, he’s reminded of Jongin sleeping on his chest after a long day, the soft puffs of breath Jongin exhales in his sleep. He’s reminded of Jongin’s cute pouty lips, Jongin’s hands clinging onto him tightly even in his sleep, like he was afraid Sehun would leave him. 

And in that moment, Sehun makes a decision.

“It’s alright… I’ll get our managers to exchange them,” Jongin starts, but Sehun cuts him off hurriedly. 

“Meet up with me,” Sehun blurts out, his cheeks heating up at his own straightforwardness. When Jongin does not reply, Sehun begins to scold himself. How could he possibly be this stupid? He doesn't deserve Jongin, not after the cold way he left him.

“Okay,” Jongin finally replies, his voice barely above a whisper, and Sehun feels so much hope rising up in his chest, yet so much anxiety. 

“Okay,” Sehun says, his voice carrying some sort of finality. They were really doing this, after 20 months. 

They make arrangements to meet up at a hidden cafe they used to go to for dates once Jongin arrives in Korea. They tread around each other carefully, tones a little awkward, Sehun supposes that he doesn’t expect any less. When they hang up, he stares at Monggu’s photo on Jongin’s lockscreen, subconsciously running his finger over the screen. 

Maybe fate doesn’t want them to part, Sehun thinks.

-

Jongin arrives at the cafe first, fiddling with Sehun’s phone, wondering if he made a mistake. Sehun broke his heart once, maybe more than once, he could easily do it again. Why was Jongin willingly agreeing to see him? 

He silently prayed that maybe Sehun would forget about their meetup. Maybe Sehun would back out. But his heart yearned to see Sehun again, even though his mind knew that it wasn’t the best idea. 

Every time Jongin closed his eyes, he could see Sehun’s morning ruffled hair and tired face behind his eyelids. If he tried hard enough, he could feel Sehun’s kisses on his neck. If he tried even harder, he could even remember flashes of the passionate night he had spent with Sehun. 

It all made his heart clench and his eyes water. Jongin loved Sehun, even after the latter left him alone in their cold shared apartment, even after their engagement was called off and Sehun barely even gave him any good reason for it. 

Jongin felt like a fool, the biggest fool in the universe as he stared at Sehun’s lockscreen, the beautiful place they had vacationed back when they had gotten engaged. 

It was painful, but Jongin remembered the way Sehun used to smile at him as they were both soaking in the sea, tiny droplets of saltwater clinging onto Sehun’s perfect hair. Jongin remembered the salty taste of Sehun’s lips, the firm grip of Sehun’s hand on his waist. 

Jongin remembered how happy he was, how happy they were. And Jongin couldn’t help but hope for that happiness again.

He really was a fool.

“Hey,” a voice shook him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw Sehun, more put together than when he last saw him. 

Sehun’s eyes were filled with a sadness that Jongin recognized, the same sadness he saw in his own eyes after they separated. 

“Hey,” Jongin said softly. 

“What’s this?” Sehun asked, gesturing to the cup in front of him as he took his seat opposite Jongin. 

“Mocha, extra syrup,” Jongin replies, the nerves in his body buzzing. 

Sehun’s eyes widen by a fraction. “You remembered,” he comments. 

_ I remember everything,  _ Jongin nearly says, but instead he smiles and lets out a hum. 

“Oh yes, here you go,” Sehun says, producing Jongin’s phone out of his pocket and handing it to Jongin. “I miss Monggu.” 

Jongin chooses to ignore Sehun’s last comment as he returns Sehun’s phone to him. 

“Why are you here, Sehun?” Jongin asks, a little exasperated. The more he looked at Sehun, the more he was reminded of memories he had worked so hard to repress. Memories that kept him up at night as they played and played over and over in his mind like a broken recorder. 

“I missed you,” Sehun says bluntly. Jongin forces himself to look into Sehun’s eyes, and he finds that he’s angry.

“You left me,” Jongin spits, his blood boiling. “You left me in our apartment, you left me in my hotel room, you left me, Sehun, and now you say that you miss me?” 

“Jongin…”

“No! No, Sehun! Stop playing your stupid games with me! I was nothing to you! Something you could just leave behind!” Jongin almost screams, he feels hot tears building in the corner of his eyes. The shocked look on Sehun’s face barely gives him any satisfaction, it only kindles the fire in him. 

“I begged you, Sehun, don’t you remember? I begged you not to leave me,” Jongin laughs in mirth. “I was a fool, I thought we could work out, I thought you loved me! I thought… I don’t know how I ever thought meeting up with you was a good idea.” 

Jongin gets up to leave, wiping furiously at his eyes. But Sehun is faster. Sehun reaches out to grip Jongin’s wrist. 

_ It’s your last chance, Sehun, don’t waste it,  _ Sehun thinks. 

Jongin stops, his brain screams at him to shake off Sehun’s hand and run, but he can’t find the energy or will to do so. 

“I loved you,” Sehun whispers. 

Jongin shakes his head, lips parting to refute Sehun’s confession. 

“I love you still, Jongin, my Nini. You were my everything, Jongin,” Sehun continues, sincerity shining through his tired eyes. 

“Then you wouldn’t have left, then you would’ve shed at least one tear,” Jongin argues softly, voice unsure. 

“I broke, Jongin, I broke down, in my car after I left,” Sehun confesses, the first time he admits to crying in his car. “I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life.”

“I can’t do this, Sehun,” Jongin says, attempting to tug his hand away, but Sehun holds on. 

“Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life, Kim Jongin. I loved you, not in the way you deserved, but I loved you. And I love you still, even though you still deserve better.” 

“Let me go, Sehun!” Jongin says, but there is no heart in it. Jongin meets Sehun’s eyes, the very eyes he fell so deeply in love with, the same eyes he was still very much in love with. “Please.”

“I don’t know what I’m asking for, and I know that whatever it is, I don’t deserve it. But I know that I cannot lose you again, Jongin, and I will do everything in my power to have you back, I will beg for your forgiveness every day, Jongin,” Sehun pleads. Jongin sees tears well up in Sehun’s eyes, he sees Sehun’s normally cold facade shatter, and his heart sways, just a little. 

“I’m sorry, Jongin, I’m sorry for everything,” Sehun chokes out. He finally lets go of Jongin’s hand, expecting him to run away but Jongin doesn’t. 

Jongin slowly sinks down, back into his seat. 

He taps Sehun’s phone and stares at Sehun’s lockscreen. “I missed this,” Jongin says slowly. 

Sehun lets out a small smile. “You were so happy, you never expected me to propose, did you?” Sehun asks, though they both knew the answer. 

Sehun unlocks his phone, Jongin sees a photo of their dogs, Monggu, Jjanggu and Vivi, curled up together. “I looked for this for ages,” Sehun explains when he sees Jongin’s surprised look. 

Against his better judgement, Jongin reaches for Sehun’s hand and holds it in his own. Sehun glances up at him, a surprised but content expression on his face. 

“I cannot promise to make you happy all the time, but I promise I will try, Jongin. I promise I won’t leave you this time, I won’t leave you ever again,” Sehun says sincerely, eyes serious and piercing. 

“I don’t know…” Jongin mumbles, eyes still on Sehun’s dimming homescreen. 

“Take all the time you need,” Sehun says, squeezing Jongin’s hand once. “I know it’s hard, I know what I did.” 

“I think…” Jongin gulps nervously, pondering the words he is going to say next. “I think I can forgive you… I just… I need time.”

Sehun beams, for the first time since their breakup. And Jongin falls for his brightness all over again. 

“That’s all I need to hear.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have absolutely no idea how to tag this. I wrote this after listening to "The Good Side" by Troye Sivan. Highly recommend that song. I hope you enjoyed reading it!


End file.
